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The Road of Grief

I’ve walked this road before, but this time it’s more difficult to walk. 

The road of grief is a very hard road to travel. Many have or will walk the road of grief sometime in their life.

The meaning of the word grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret.

For many of you that have followed Jo Ann’s blog you know that for many years Jo and I took care of our mother. Mom had several strokes in her lifetime which paralyzed the left side of her body taking away her ability to walk.

The last six months of Mom’s life she was confined to her bed unable to do anything for herself. We fed her, bathed her and took care of all her needs. Jo Ann and I were very thankful that we were able to do this for Mom.

Mom went to be with Jesus Oct. 29, 2013. It was a sorrowful time that was mixed with the joy of knowing Mom was in heaven able to walk, run and was healed of the damage the strokes had caused.

We were grieving her death, which is normal even when you know someone is with Jesus. We missed hearing her laughter and seeing her beautiful blue eyes. Still grieving the loss of Mom the unthinkable happened. On November 29, 2013 exactly 30 days from the day Mom went to be with Jesus Jo Ann joined Mom in heaven.

Returning home after running a few errands I walked into the house and found Jo Ann on the floor next to the dining table. She was already blue and not breathing. My efforts to revive her were useless. Through tears and shock I called 911.

I can’t fully explain the shock I was feeling. The 911 dispatcher had me go and sit on the front porch to wait for the ambulance. When I stood to get the attention of the ambulance driver I felt like I was going to fall to the ground. It seemed as if all the strength had gone out of my body. By the grace of God I was able to stand and directed the ambulance driver to the house.

The paramedics could do nothing to help Jo Ann she was already with Jesus. The sheriff who had arrived at the same time as the ambulance called the coroner.

I called my Pastor, who with his wife and daughter came quickly to my house. I called my family in Indiana and California. My neighbors came over as soon as they saw the ambulance at the house.

The next few days were busy with making the necessary arrangements.

The funeral being over we each had to go back to our everyday lives, each one of us walking our road of grief.

Grief comes in waves. I think I’m doing okay and then it hits me. The tears begin to flow and the pain is so intense. I cry out to God, soon I feel his warm embrace.

I’m learning the road of grief is a long road with a lot of unexpected twist and turns. On this road I have felt disbelief, discouragement, anger, uncertainty and many other emotions. I have even been jealous that Mom and JoAnn are in heaven having a great time and I’m here feeling all this sadness.

One of my neighbors said to me “God will not give you all his grace at one time, but he will give it to you as you need it”. How true this statement has been to me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

May God comfort and help everyone that is walking the Road of Grief.

Donna Snapp

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2 Comments

  1. Marlene Richardson Whitehead

     /  March 16, 2014

    Donna Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Your words strengthen me. I understand the Road of Grief. I feel I am still grieving we lost our mother 1984. Gary & I hadn’t been married but 6 yrs and our girls were just 3 & 4 yrs. Then, our younger sister Pam Jan 1998 she left behind an 11 yr old girl. Then another unbelievable shock our only brother Thad the follow yr on his 45th birthday. Also our oldest sister Barb lost her battle with kidney failure Sept 2008. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss them. My only consolation is knowing where they have went and they are no longer suffering. I will be lifting you up in prayer. Take care.
    Marlene

    Reply
    • Marlene, I can’t even imagine the grief you are going through with so much loss in your life. I know that it is God that helps you to make it through each day. I agree that knowing where they are and that we will be with them one day helps, but it still hurts. There are things I see or hear throughout the day and I think to myself I’ll tell Jo that when I get home. Then it hits me I can’t tell her. When you have lived with someone for 54 years and then they aren’t there it’s hard to think things will ever be better again. Marlene you are in my prayers my dear friend and sister.
      Love you!
      Donna

      Reply

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